That’s how this week’s felt. I had great plans – as per usual – to get loads of things done, make some progress on a few projects that I’ve let slide…
And then I spent two days doing nothing but going to work at my new job. And even then, it was only for a few hours, so I essentially wasted two days where I could have done so much.
But I’m trying really hard not to beat myself up for failing to accomplish what I had planned. I did start my new job and I’m enjoying it a lot, so there’s that. And I did clean up a bit more of the yard to get the gardens growing and show off the huge yard to potential buyers.
There were some down points, too. We’re still trying to sell the house and I have no idea why we haven’t yet. Keith and Maddy are back a day early from Winnipeg, but I still miss them so much during the week. And it’s been a struggle to keep my anxiety and depression in check, being by myself, starting a new job and trying to keep this business afloat.
I’m not big into meditating or anything like that, but I do have a copy of Desiderata hanging over my desk that I read when I need to calm my mind and get back into a good (or, at least, better) place. My grandmother gave it to me when I was confirmed 25 years ago and it’s one of my most treasured items. The glass in the frame broke long ago and it’s got a couple of water stains, but it’s a wonderful reminder that yes, the world can be pretty shitty, but it does get better.
So as terrible as this week may have been in some aspects and this whole year has been a massive struggle to stay sane and focused, there are parts of it that have been pretty awesome. Just because I didn’t get everything done I wanted to this week, it’s not the end of the world – I did what had to be done and took a break. Sometimes you don’t realize you need a mental break from constantly dealing with problems and struggles and obstacles until after you take the break. And looking back, I’m happy I did. Yeah, I’ll have more to do later, but it’s better to do with a fresh mind than one that’s cluttered.
Or, at least, that’s what I’m telling myself today :) Have a great weekend!